Saturday, May 22, 2010

I've been a Mom for Fifteen Years

In some ways it's hard to believe, but in others, it's hard for me to believe that there was a time when a WASN'T a mom. And yet, I remember with all too much clarity, how it felt to try and accept the fact that having children wasn't in the cards for me. Today is Nick's birthday, and as I thought about how much joy he has brought to my life, I remembered a poem I wrote about how I felt when we got "THE CALL" from the adoption agency. Thought I might share it with you...


I can't possibly explain how it feels
to answer the phone
and hear three simple words-
the words on which all my dreams rest.

I can't possibly explain what it's like
to once again feel the hope-
hope that had long ago been shelved
deep within my heart
in a place reserved
for seemingly unanswered prayers
and broken dreams.

I can't possibly explain how the words
"You've been chosen"
have changed my life-
how images of Christmas mornings
that have been far too quiet
for far too long,
can, in an instant,
begin to fade away.

I can't possibly explain
the despair of waiting
37 years to have a child,
nor the joy I feel right now.

I'm going to be a mommy,
And I can't possibly explain.