Saturday, May 22, 2010

I've been a Mom for Fifteen Years


In some ways it's hard to believe, but in others, it's hard for me to believe that there was a time when a WASN'T a mom. And yet, I remember with all too much clarity, how it felt to try and accept the fact that having children wasn't in the cards for me. Today is Nick's birthday, and as I thought about how much joy he has brought to my life, I remembered a poem I wrote about how I felt when we got "THE CALL" from the adoption agency. Thought I might share it with you...

CHOSEN

I can't possibly explain how it feels
to answer the phone
and hear three simple words-
the words on which all my dreams rest.

I can't possibly explain what it's like
to once again feel the hope-
hope that had long ago been shelved
deep within my heart
in a place reserved
for seemingly unanswered prayers
and broken dreams.

I can't possibly explain how the words
"You've been chosen"
have changed my life-
how images of Christmas mornings
that have been far too quiet
for far too long,
can, in an instant,
begin to fade away.

I can't possibly explain
the despair of waiting
37 years to have a child,
nor the joy I feel right now.

I'm going to be a mommy,
And I can't possibly explain.

4 comments:

  1. I love this!!! I am always in awe of God and all that He does! The first time I remember meeting you all I will never forget how much I thought Nick looked like his mother... and then along comes Sohpie with the beautiful blonde hair like her daddy:) God is amazing!!! Happy Birthday Nick!

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  2. Congratulations to a wonderful mom and Happy Birthday Nick!!

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  3. Oh Ang what a great poem-I could feel how you felt-when I see Nick-I see you too( like Regina)-I even see Marisa and your mom. God truly chose the right family for him and Sophie-who also reminds me of Joe! Congratulations on having a 15 year old in your house -I loved the kids being teenagers-enjoy-love ya-

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  4. My youngest of 5 just turned 18. All my kids are adopted or foster. Can't believe I've been a mom for over 23 years. Like you, hard to remember when I wasn't. I remember vividly the last night before I adopted my first child. Thinking, this is the last night of my life that I won't be a mom. Congratulations. Love your blog (found it through K who follows mine).

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